By Candi Allen
Feels like I’m drowning in this sea called life.
I get so overwhelmed by all the details-
Trying to be the perfect mom, the perfect friend, the perfect wife.
My pursuit of perfection collapses over me in waves-
“It’s really just depression,” some would say.
I struggle and try
And I try and struggle.
I fight and hold tight to my selfish ambition,
But then come feelings of only more frustration.
This plan You have for me to take up my cross,
This plan to die to self no matter the cost,
God, I can’t do this thing you’re asking!
I just don’t know how.
Can’t You see? I’m drowning!
I’m sinking under it already now!
Then answers Your still small Voice,
Breaking through like peaceful silence
In the midst of life’s overwhelming noise,
“I will be your breath in the midst of the waves.
Simply trust me now with all your heart craves.”
How can I trust You, though?
That thing You’re asking me to do-
That’s the thing that overwhelms me most.
I thought joy only comes from my passion for the things I enjoy doing.
So how do I trust You now in this way in which You’re moving?
I’m already sinking! Please, let me bail!
Now, Lord, let me avoid my inevitable “epic fail”.
Then comes Your voice again so still and small,
“Let me be your passion.
Let me be your all.
Clench not your fists holding tight to the passion for things that are only all about you.
Instead open wide your hands in surrender
As I show you True Passion and Renewal.
The vastness of this sea of life you feel your’re sinking in
Is not capable of containing the rip-tide of True Life that will burst within
When all the useless pleasures of this life will fade
And only I, your True Joy, will remain.
My Grace now is sufficient for thee!
Trust me now
And let Jesus your only passion be.
Die now to self.
Let me be your health.
Let me be your breath and let me be your wealth.
Die now to self until that day
When every care of this life will fade away.
In the blink of an eye
Your earthly passions will cease
As you finally behold the sweet release
Of that moment in glory
That you see completed for you My love story.
Trust Me now.
YOU don’t have to know how.
Just die to all the things you pursue selfishly.
Lay down now your life and
Just abide in Me.”
About this Guest Writer:
Candi Allen is a fine Christian lady and a talented writer. She is married and has several children. Even though staying home with the children is a full-time job she still finds time to be active in ministry in her local church. Candi is especially dear to the heart of Pamela Rose because she is Pamela’s daughter.
