What does the Bible teach about loneliness?
Over the last 10 years, there are many reports about an epidemic of loneliness in the world. While many reports talk about managing loneliness, it is nearly impossible to find any that mentioned the one thing that works. To know what it is, we must ask, what does the Bible say about overcoming loneliness?
What does the world say about loneliness?
If you review the many sources that have responded to the reports of the loneliness epidemic, you find that they tend to say similar things, Some, approach loneliness with a physical needs focus by promoting the joining of gyms, taking up hobbies, and physical health management. Others approach loneliness with an emotional needs’ focus: promoting joining clubs, volunteering, or reaching out to others. While still others approach loneliness with a spiritual needs’ focus promoting mental health activities, mood altering medication, and spiritual guru treatments.
There are many things that can come from this advice and many people make good progress in managing their loneliness. However, there is one thing missing from what the world says about overcoming loneliness. None of them address the real root of loneliness. This is because loneliness is not just a physical thing. And loneliness is not just an emotionally social thing. Nor is loneliness just mental and spiritual health thing. The roots of loneliness go deeper than these three things.
What is the deeper root of loneliness?
While physical, emotional, and spiritual health needs are important, the foundation of these three is the same. Their foundation is Spiritual. Saying these have a “Spiritual” foundation is not the same thing as saying their foundation is “spiritual”. To say they are spiritual, with a lowercase s, refers to a man-made spiritual perspective. While saying their foundation is Spiritual, with and upper-case S, refers to a God-made Spiritual perspective, not a man made one.
Furthermore, because our Spiritual foundation has a direct impact on our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, we must have a way to build this foundation. Man can come up with ways to build a spiritual foundation for living a better life, but it has proven to not be perfect for every situation. Only God can provide the physical power, emotional stability, and Spiritual truth needed to build a Spiritual foundation to live a better life.
How can the foundation be built to overcome loneliness?
There are several aspects of loneliness that can only be found in the Word of God, our Bible, that must be addressed. These can be observed the following ways:
It is not good for man to be alone
If we go back to the book of Genesis, we learn that God made a perfect creation. In the first two chapters of Genesis, we find that God spoke into existence the physical creation as follows:
Day 1: God spoke into existence the heavens and the earth and created light to divide the light, called day, from the darkness, called night (Genesis 1:1-7)
Day 2: God spoke into existence the atmosphere and Heaven (Genesis 1:6-8)
Day 3: God spoke into existence the land and living vegetation (Genesis 1:9-13)
Day 4: God spoke into existence the heavenly bodies of sun, moon, planets, and stars (Genesis 1:14-19)
Day 5: God spoke into existence the water and airborne creatures (Genesis 1:20-23)
Day 6: God spoke into existence land animals, and man (Genesis 1:24-31)
What we see next in Genesis 2 is God resting on the seventh day, followed by a recap of Day 6, when God created man, whom He called Adam.
After creating Adam, God created the Garden of Eden and placed Adam in the Garden, after which He told Adam what He was to do and not to do. It was after this in Genesis 2:18, that God said:
Genesis 2:18. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
At this point, starting in Genesis 2:19, God showed Adam that animals were not what He had in mind to address Adam’s loneliness, after which, God created a woman, later called Eve, out of Adam. It was after this happened, that God joined Adam and Eve together as man and wife (Genesis 2:18-25).
God provided for Adam’s loneliness
What we learn from this account is that God said it was not good for Adam to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Therefore, God fulfilled Adam’s loneliness starting with the creation of Eve. Then God fulfilled both Adam and Eve’s physical aspect of loneliness in the establishment of a one flesh relationship of marriage (Genesis 2:21-24). God then immediately fulfilled their emotional aspect of loneliness in them not being ashamed (Genesis 2:25).
Finally, God provided for the Spiritual needs of both Adam and Eve in that at this point, Adam and Eve could have a face-to-face Spiritual relationship with God. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve soon lost the direct Spiritual fulfillment of their needs in Genesis 3.
How did God’s closeness with Adam and Eve get lost?
Beginning in Genesis 3:1-7, we see that Adam and Eve lost their direct, face to face access to God and His direct provision for their physical, emotional, and Spiritual needs. This is because Satan seduced Eve to doubt God and Adam did nothing to stop her as follows:
Genesis 3:1-7. ​”Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? 2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: 3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. 4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. 6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.”
How did this impact Adam and Eve’s closeness with God?
We see that because of their rejection of God’s provision, it had an immediate impact on Adam and Eve. This impact affected their relationship with God and caused division as follows:
Genesis 3:8-13. “And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. 9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? 10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. 11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. 13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.”
More specifically, we see that Adam and Eve both suffered, physical, emotional, and Spiritual loneliness. They experienced division with God and they experienced division with each other. From here, God chastised Satan before chastising Adam and Eve by telling them how the division in their relationship drove a wedge causing a foundation of loneliness between them. (Genesis 3:14-21). This wedge of loneliness was seen as follows:
Genesis 3:22-24. “And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: 23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. 24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
How did Adam and Eve’s loss of closeness with God impact us?
Adam and Eve lost their emotional closeness with God by choosing to submit to evil. They also lost their physical closeness with God to share meals and fellowship in God’s presence. Finally, they also lost their Spiritual closeness by being driven out of the Garden of Eden, so they had no direct face to face Spiritual access to God.
Sadly, Adam and Eve’s children also inherited their loss of closeness with God and loneliness. While we can go deep into how it happened between them and what impact it had, it is more important to understand that as descendants of Adam and Eve, we too suffer from the physical, emotional, and Spiritual loneliness apart from God.
How do we achieve closeness with God to drive away loneliness?
The question is, what draws us close to God and drives away the loneliness with Him and each other?  Our immediate focus needs to be on reestablishing a closeness with God Spiritually. As mentioned above, physical, emotional, and spiritual closeness with God needs a Spiritual foundation. This means we must establish a Spiritual relationship on God’s terms. When we do that, He does several things.
We need to be saved by trusting Christ
First, God develops a Spiritual closeness with us through His Holy Spirit, Who comes to live inside each of us, the moment we trust God for salvation. His Holy Spirit then seals us until the day of redemption, which is the day we leave our mortal earthly bodies to join Him in Heaven. In simple terms, that means we need to be saved from death and eternal separation from God by trusting Christ as our Savior. Then God will put His Holy Spirit in us to live with us, so we are never alone. For more on this, read these articles:
How can I become a Spiritually mature Christian?
We need to draw closer to Christ
We see then, if we have trusted Christ as our Savior, we have the Holy Spirit of God living in us, so we are NEVER alone! The Holy Spirit of God provides the Wisdom and Power we need to grow closer to Christ. As we draw closer to Christ, we learn how to let God provide for our physical, emotional, and Spiritual needs. For more help on how to draw closer to Christ, check out our books (Paperback/Kindle, and PDF) as follows:
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Grow Closer to Christ in 30 Days: Daily Challenges Sure to Increase Your Faith – PDF Download
As we build upon our knowledge and relationship with God, we see our loneliness starts to dissolve. We learn more and more how to have a closeness with God and one another. These are much deeper and more effective than man-made simple physical, emotional, and spiritual ideas that do not work with everyone using their own strength.
What are examples of how to Spiritually deal with loneliness?
Living away from loved ones and on our own
Experiencing times when we are away from loved ones and living on our own can be unsettling. The Lord shall fight for you and give you peace as follows:
Exodus 14:10-14. “And when Pharaoh drew nigh, the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the LORD. 11 And they said unto Moses, Because there were no graves in Egypt, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt? 12 Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness.
13 And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. 14 The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”
Taking on too much alone can lead to great stress
We can help each other by sharing the work with each other, so we are not overloaded with responsibility and physical hardship:
Numbers 11:10-15. “Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the LORD was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased. 11 And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? 12 Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? 13 Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. 14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. 15 And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.”
Deuteronomy 1:9-16. “And I spake unto you at that time, saying, I am not able to bear you myself alone: 10 The LORD your God hath multiplied you, and, behold, ye are this day as the stars of heaven for multitude. 11 (The LORD God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you!) 12 How can I myself alone bear your cumbrance, and your burden, and your strife? 13 Take you wise men, and understanding, and known among your tribes, and I will make them rulers over you. 14 And ye answered me, and said, The thing which thou hast spoken is good for us to do. 15 So I took the chief of your tribes, wise men, and known, and made them heads over you, captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, and captains over fifties, and captains over tens, and officers among your tribes. 16 And I charged your judges at that time, saying, Hear the causes between your brethren, and judge righteously between every man and his brother, and the stranger that is with him.”
A desire to be alone without social interaction can be harmful
Those that insist on being alone often have issues that need attention. When we have others close to us, we can assure each other that we are safe and secure. However, physical provision alone does not provide for spiritual and emotional needs, so we need to do things together and share our hearts with each other:
Job 7:7-16. “O remember that my life is wind: mine eye shall no more see good. 8 The eye of him that hath seen me shall see me no more: thine eyes are upon me, and I am not. 9 As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more. 10 He shall return no more to his house, neither shall his place know him any more. 11Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. 12 Am I a sea, or a whale, that thou settest a watch over me?
13 When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint; 14 Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions: 15 So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life. 16 I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my days are vanity.”Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Matthew 4:3-4. “And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. 4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”
1 John 1:6-9. “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
God provides a way for us to never be alone
No matter what we go through as believers we are never alone. Faith alone without works is dead so we should reach out to others and get involved in helping others and sharing our faith.
John 16:32-33. “Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me. 33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
James 2:14-17. “What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, 16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? 17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. 18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. 19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. 20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? 22 Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect? 23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. 24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.”
We must look to the church in Scripture as our example
We must actively include those that are lonely and do what we can so that they can come to enjoy the closeness with one another and the closeness with our Savior Jesus Christ. This means we must spend time in a good local church that teaches form the Word of God to all ages and has regular times of fellowship events with one another. We see this was done in the early days of the church as follows:
Acts 2:41-47. “Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls. 42 And they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. 43 And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. 44 And all that believed were together, and had all things common; 45 And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. 46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, 47 Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.”
Final Thoughts
There is so much more we can discuss, but the important thing is that as believers, we must actively reach out to one another and fellowship together. Thanks be to God for allowing us to be members of His family and knowing that He promised us, He will never leave us nor forsake us. Likewise, through Him, let us come together so we can share the power to overcome loneliness by never leaving nor forsaking each other:
Hebrews 13:5-6. “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
